I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
