I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
