My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
