Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
