I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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