Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
