Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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