Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
