My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Randomize
