Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
