i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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