I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
