I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
