I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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