that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you traded sex for a burrito?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
