girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
