i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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