To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
