WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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