Is it because I queefed?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
