Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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