Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
