His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
