quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
