Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
