yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
