Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
