i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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