I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
