Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
soo... how was my night?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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