oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize