I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Randomize
