i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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