Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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