hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
