Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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