i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
