my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
