Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
