Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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