The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
