Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
