At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
