Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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