I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize