It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
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She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
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This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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