My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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