Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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