Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
