Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
