I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
