I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
