Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
