why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
