if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
as a side note pls kill me
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