well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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