I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize