My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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