i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't deserve a penis
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
