Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
