your room smells of hookers.
And success
Your dad touched me again.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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